Wednesday, January 28, 2009


My knitting mojo seems to have returned. I think much of the reason is that I'm deadline knitting for a designer I respect very much. I already feel as though I've let her down, because life threw in some curveballs that let me get behind schedule.

I've never really lost my knitting mojo before, and I'd prefer not to do so again. I have started thinking about knitting in a different way. It isn't a cure-all, a panacea; there is no such thing. What it has been for me is a constant. No matter what else was going on in my life, there's been a knitting project (OK, many more than one) that I could pull out and work on. It was something I could control. For the last month, I've felt a lack of control in some of the major areas of my life. They seemed to be issues too big for even knitting to provide relief.

Oh, things haven't settled that much, and there are still things that I have no control over. Funny thing, though. I think that's called life. No one has control over every aspect of life. If someone claims to, he or she is either lying to you or to themselves. But, when I picked up my knitting needles again, it just felt right. I had found an old friend.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Sometimes Knitting Isn't a Cure-all

There are very few days when I don't knit at least a row or two--or start a new project though I have many WIP. Knitting has always been a way for me to get through things. OK, so is eating, but I've made a conscious decision over the past year or so that I'd first turn to knitting in times of stress.

That policy has worked well--until lately. My knitting mojo seems to have taken a vacation, now when I need it most. Like millions of people in the US and the world, I'm desperately feeling the pinch of the economic downturn. Rent this week will be hard to meet, because I have a client who seems to be on her way to bankruptcy. And this is after she told me that she'd already received payment for the job. As it is, she canceled two book contracts I had with her because of losing her contract. That I can understand, but she should certainly pay me for completed work.

On top of that, I now have to take a test to keep my freelance position with a company I've worked for for several years. It merged with another company, so policies have changed. You'd think I wouldn't have a problem with the test, but I am notoriously bad at such things. I am good at what I do, but tests....

Then there's Tommy. He's the diabetic cat I adopted in 2007, after his surviving family wanted to put him to sleep. He currently has mild pneumonia and cancer--probably lymphoma. He hasn't been eating either. I hope that I will make the right decision when it comes to his care. I must admit that a big part of me wants God to make the decision for me.

And now, for some reason, my knitting mojo has gone AWOL. Maybe it's too much to ask of an activity. I don't know. But right now, I could certainly use the security that knitting has brought me in the past, and that I'm sure it will again someday.